College hookup culture can feel like a huge question mark with three
options: have some one-night-stands, find the person you're going to marry, or
never kiss a soul. While the social atmosphere is different at every school,
love, sex and dating are a part of many students'
college experiences, right alongside being challenged academically and learning
incredible new ways to think about the world.
Things everyone should
know about love, sex and dating in college:
1. It's
worth spending the time to find someone special -- don't rush into having sex
if you're not ready or are just trying to "get it over with."
2. Dance
floor make outs at parties can end at dance floor make outs. They don't have to
go anywhere else. (And they can also be incredibly fun.)
3. If
you have a roommate, be communicative with her or him about your needs --
including your need for privacy sometimes. And respect your roommate's needs as
well.
4. Anyone
who pressures you into having sex is not someone you want to spend your time
with. Goodbye.
5. Be vocal about your wants and needs in bed, because your
sexual satisfaction matters.
6. Dating
should be a fun learning experience, where you learn things both about yourself
and what you want in a partner.
7. If
you decide to date someone, remember to make friends on your own in addition to
the ones you share as a couple. A relationship is always better when you have a
life outside of it.
8.
It's OK to take things slow.
9.
It's also OK to take things "fast." It's all about what you want and
need.
10. You're not a loser if you don't leave the party with
someone. Sometimes, going home and watching Netflix in bed alone is 100 times
better.
11. Talk to someone if you have a sexual encounter that
makes you feel uncomfortable.
12. Sexual assault is NEVER. YOUR. FAULT.
13. Not having a serious romantic relationship during
college is totally fine.
14. Having one is great, too. You do you!
15. Throw out the phrase "walk of shame." Having
consensual sex isn't shameful. Make it a "stride of pride!"
16. If you're curious about threesomes or other
nontraditional forms of intimacy, college is the perfect time to experiment in
a safe way. (Again, open communication is key.)
17. Take care of yourself -- don't feel awkward about going
to the doctor for birth control or getting tested for an STI. It's all
part of owning your body.
18. Sex is supposed to be fun. If it stops being fun with
someone, stop doing it.
19. Everyone talks about sex a lot in college, but really,
not everyone is having it. Don't feel bad or weird if you're not.
20. It's totally OK to enter college a virgin. It's
totally OK to leave college a virgin. Your decisions are your own -- you don't
need to answer to anyone else.
21. Always use protection. You'll be glad you did.
22. Your friends are great sources of advice, but it can
be helpful to talk to a professional if you have questions about birth control,
protection, or mental health issues -- or if you're in an abusive relationship
or have been sexually assaulted. Make sure to familiarize yourself with your
campus' student health services.
23. You don't have to have sex with someone to make them like
you. And if you think someone won't like you just because you don't want to
have sex, then you should probably rethink liking them.
24. Remember: You will meet single people after you
graduate! And they might be cool! If it happens in college, it happens; if it
doesn't, it's no big deal. Don't force anything.
25. College is a time to meet other people, but remember
that it's also a time to find yourself. So live it up because YOCO (you only
college once).
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